care for self

We began this class learning about the National Extension Parent Education Model (NEPEM).
These are the 7 categories:
Care for self 
Understand 
Nurture 
Motivate
Develop
Advocate
This week was focused on care for self, and we learned about this parenting pyramid. It talks about the underlying problem when parents feel there is a problem or conflict with their children. Parents need to discipline children less and teach them more. This is why correction is at the top because it points out that parents need to spend more time teaching and less time correcting. Basically the answer to the problem in that particular part of the pyramid is actually  in the section below. In addition to teaching, parents also need to have a good report and connection with the child so that they will listen to them. The next layer of the pyramid suggest that both parents need to be on the same page. If there is a good relationship between the parent and child the child might be reacting to the marriage relationship. Finally the bottom is how we are as a person. It points out that this affects every part of the pyramid. Hence this is why it is so important to have self-Care.
In the beginning of the lesson it gave the quote: 
"Without self-reliance one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak."-Elder Marion G. Romney
I really like this quote because it made me ask the question what is self-care? I found that it is anything activity that is deliberate that a person does for themselves to promote their wellbeing or improve health. I found out that self-reliance isn't just financial. I learned throughout the week that it is also mental, social spiritual, and emotional. Self-care is vital. It often is view as optional or more of a luxury, but it should be considered a necessity even a priority. How to do it can vary from person to person. So there is no cookie cutter way of doing it.   
During general conference one thing that was talked about was to review the priorities and focus on eternities. I know that the relationships that we build here on earth are going are not short- term, they are going to last forever.  Putting time and effort into them can be through short simple everyday things that we do together.  
 President Benson counselled parents to "Take time to be a real friend to your children. Listen to your children, really listen. Talk with them, laugh and joke with them, sing with them, play with them, cry with them, hug them, honestly praise them. Yes, regularly spend unrushed one-on-one time with each child". https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/service/serving-in-the-church/relief-society/RS-SG1-TakingTimeforEachFamilyMember-eng.pdf 
An assignment for this class was to take a personal and relationship Inventory. I did not do as well as I would have like to, but I think I need to make it more of a priority. One thing I learned was that self-care needs to be planned.    
I am a parent that tends to focus a lot on the wellbeing of my children and I sometimes neglect myself in the meantime. Therefore, I think this is a problem I have and this is why I chose this as one of my takeaways.  I have to remember the clip art below, that self-care isn't selfish and that it is healthy to take time out for myself.  

what I want to remember is that parents don't want to view children as irritants or ungrateful burdens instead children who haven't learned yet. As a parent I hope this will remind me to teach my children more and not correct them as much as I do. 

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